Open Mic.

It's a little weird that my first post about Open Mic Night is one in which I don't actually perform on the Open Mic, but that's the world we live in I guess. I would love to be able to link a video of me butchering "Bad Romance" here, however the way it worked out is I was there for about 2 hours drinking whiskey and Guinness while other guys played and finally some douchebag hogged the mic for half an hour and my only friend there was too tired to stay, so I didn't play anything. Seriously, this douchebag was the kind of guy who plays Sublime songs, and Rob Thomas' part of "Smooth" at Open Mic. A fucking prick.

While busy ignoring his Top 40-ing, I was propositioned by a bisexual Tasmanian girl, who was in the very curious position of an open Korean marriage. Until now I had thought it impossible, but no, here was a girl actually married to a Korean guy who was (supposedly) okay with her asking if I wanted to fuck her in the bar. Of course, I argued that we would probably get kicked out, and it's such a good bar, but she seemed more interested in my coworker anyways, who I imagine earlier would have claimed to not be interested in women, but now she's had a few glasses of whiskey and got busy kissing Tasmanian girl's cleavage, which was reciprocated in kind. This went on for about 5 minutes, girls drunkenly smashing their tits up against each others and making out with the others' bra lines, but eventually we did manage the sisyphean task of leaving the bar.

Being the nice guy I am, I escorted the same coworker to a 24-hour fast food place where she got a bowl of Bibimbap, and then took her to another coworker's place where she passed out on the couch, and I watched the end of Last of the Mohicans while sipping on my umpteenth whiskey of the night.

So, that was my Open Mic night. The first one I didn't actually perform at. Seriously, next time I'll have a story or video or something about screaming a punk cover of Lady Gaga, but until then you'll just have to make do with bisexual Tasmanian wives and Last of the Mohicans.

Sorry.

Love, Jamie.