Thailand Supershow: Saturday

This one's going to be a little short, because: 1) I should've gone to bed hours ago
2) The next and last post about Bangkok is probably going to be extra long, and
3) Not a fuck lot happened on Saturday. We were going to take the bus from Pattaya to Bangkok, but first we had a couple hours to kill. We decided to take in the sights:


Like this fine establishment, the "Porn Massage" parlor.


And "MASSAGE BY Blind men". Now, unlike a lot of my Thailand photos, this one is not accompanied by wistful, unfulfilled regrets. Oh yeah. We got us some blind massages.

The place was surprisingly roomy inside, and also surprisingly cheap when compared to other, non-blind prices I had seen (but unfortunately had not experienced; being preoccupied with diversions like skydiving and mushroom shakes didn't leave a lot of time for massages). So, my first and only Thai body massage was from a Of Mice and Men-looking young man who could've been anywhere from 13 to 30. Jessie's sight-challenged masseuse was an old woman half her size, but Jessie assures me her hands were no less powerful for it. I didn't have much time to compare though, because my body was busy being destroyed by a pair of hands that apparently fucking hated me. The real bitch of it was since he was blind, he would have to ask me to put myself into the positions that would allow him to better deliver the pain.

So after we were finished being broken in twain, we hopped on the bus to Bangkok, which was something like a couple hours away.


Sure, we had a few other options besides Bangkok, but we also had a plane to catch. Mars will wait.

Bangkok was...fuck it, I don't know. It was a big city, and the week had started to wear on me, and I think Jessie too. We went to the Chatuchak Weekend Market, which is the biggest market in Thailand according to Wikipedia, and yeah it was a pretty big goddamn market. I still wasn't able to find a decent hat. Jessie was too tired to do any nightlife stuff, so we found a hotel that was a little more expensive than we wanted, but near the airport.

There's no photos of Chatuchak Market, but here's what I do have for you:


This janky Doraemon statue,


and this decidedly more awesome Batman statue.

I know, I know. "What's the deal Jamie" you're asking. "Bangkok sounds lame, surely you found something to do in one of the most notorious cities in the world right." Oh boy did I ever. My last post will be about me taking the most terrifying boat ride ever, receiving a personal itinerary from a Thai cop, and advice about Viagra from a cab driver. I also see some palaces and statues and shit, but we both know you're here for the drugs. And you should be ashamed of yourself.