Initially I had been wondering if I should write about Gatbawi, since it's kind of a boring tourist thing to do, and there is no end to blogs you can read if you're into that. Gatbawi is this giant stone buddha on Palgong Mountain, and it is famous because unlike other giant stone buddhas, this one has a hat. Korea probably didn't get invited to many parties back in the day.
It was Saturday and half day at work (because I work 6 days a week which is not a thing a person should ever do), and for some reason it was abnormally sunny out. I'd been thinking about going to Gatbawi for months, and this seemed like the last good opportunity, so I did. This is pretty much the only big cultural thing Daegu has going for it, so why not. On the internet there was a bunch of advice on taking buses, but fuck that noise. I'm 23, out of college, and I have a job. I am done with buses. Instead I took a taxi that ended up costing 25 dollars, and wished I wasn't so done with buses.
The taxi drops you off near the base of the mountain, and then it's hiking time. I'm an Eagle Scout, so I was prepared: t-shirt, jeans, flip flops, and no camera. My outfit received a lot of looks (which I can only assume were jealous) by Koreans in a thousand dollars worth of designer hiking gear. And because I have no phone, you get camera phone pictures!
This was a temple maybe half or a third the way up, but I don't remember and it felt like I was walking up enough steps for 10 mountains. Either I was out of shape, or Koreans are really goddamn efficient.
This is a satellite dish, because Korean Buddhist temple monks are crazy for True Blood.
Around the temple there were a bunch of these little pools that you can drink out of with provided dippers. Not wanting to ruin my streak of drinking really questionable water, I had a sip. Not bad. A little gritty.
Along the road up were a bunch of these little stacked rock piles. I guess Korean monks still don't get invited to many parties.
It was a nice view though. If you aren't distracted by awesome rock piles, that is.
So here we are at Gatbawi. There's the big guy. And his hat.
And here I am, hale and healthy. Who says I'm not in shape?! In all seriousness, though, I think I lost a kidney on that hike.
And here's the Pocari Sweat can I carried up the whole freaking way. I had bonded with it like a companion cube, but it was time to say goodbye.
And time to pray! The place was loaded with prostration because supposedly Gatbawi will give you one wish. So did I wish for anything? You bet your ass I did! I prayed that everyone who read this boring post about Gatbawi gets laid. And not just any lame missionary-off, but challenging, consciousness-expanding fucking. So the next time you're in bed:
You know which Buddha to thank. It's the one with the hat.
My thoughts about your private sex life were interrupted, however, when I realized after walking up the mountain, now I had to walk all the way back down.
Look at all these unhappy souls who've just been fucked over by the hidden, dark side of hiking. Who the hell thought up this shitty system?!
I tried to cheer myself up by buying some corn from a little stand at one of the rest points, but I forgot that Korea is the class retard of the corn stand world. It tasted like pellets of pure anti-joy coated in tire sealant. There are no pictures of the shitty corn because I was too distracted thinking of creative ways to bitch about it.
At the bottom, I found this store and bought a Gatorade and a beer.
The Gatorade to replenish valuable electrolytes, and the beer to get those electrolytes drunk.
And it's not even the end of this post! No way! We've got dog meat to have been eaten:
Here's the place. It took forever to find the name of one, but the cab driver seemed to know exactly where to go.
The letters at the top say "boshintang", which is exactly what we're here for.
Doesn't look much like a wretched hive of scum and villainy from here. Once inside, the woman immediately asked "Boshintang?" because what the hell else was a single white guy doing in her restaurant.
About 5 minutes later she came back with this tray. Pretty normal fare: the soup, some mint leaves, peppers, onions, garlic, condiments and rice. The real x-factor here was that plate on the left with the gray pieces of god-knows-what. They looked kind of like cut up, boiled ears, and that's about what they tasted like too. I think they may have really been ears. Dog ears probably, but who knows at this point.
Here you go. This is what dog soup looks like.
And this is what it looks like in your stomach. It actually tasted like a normal, fairly good spicy soup. The dog meat was meat. I'm trying really hard to not say it tasted like chicken, but there you go.
Now, according to Korean culture that I read about on Wikipedia, this soup is enjoyed because it is supposed to increase your strength and stamina. Let's give it half an hour and see:
HOLY GOD I'M A SUPERMAN! "But what scientific reason could possibly explain that kind of power?!" I hear you fearfully ask, muscles ringing in your eardrums.
And the answer is:
Who cares?! Check out these guns!!!
